Song Inspiration: Find My Way Back-Cody Fry
25th March 2025: For the past several days, I’ve been in limbo, somewhere between exhaustion and uncertainty. I’ve spent most of my time sleeping. My body finally decided to catch up on all the rest I’d missed over the years. I recently lost my job. It’s a terrifying and surreal experience, one, because I didn’t see it coming, and two I’ve never had this kind of stillness before. I’ve always thought that if I ever left work, it would be on my own terms.
27th March 2025: I’ve always had something to wake up for, a purpose to chase. I started working while still in college, before that, school kept me grounded. So the rhythm of alarms, schedules, and responsibilities has been my normal for as long as I can remember. Now, my alarm rings at 7:30 AM, and I wake up ready to tackle the day only to realize there’s nowhere I need to be. No meetings, no deadlines, no urgent emails. And so, I go back to sleep. It’s a strange feeling. A little freeing and a little frightening at the same time. I feel like I am standing on the edge of something new but not quite knowing whether to jump or wait for a sign. Worse, I can’t see the bottom.
29th March 2025: Work sent over my suitcases, but they’ve just been sitting there, untouched. I tried unpacking, got halfway through and then gave up. That’s not like me. I can’t stand clutter. The only mess I ever tolerate is my pile of unfolded laundry. As I finally started sorting through my things, I came across my journals. I haven’t written in them in a while, though I used to do it religiously. Flipping through, I found something I had completely forgotten about, a “Things to Do Before I Die” list. It is a list that AS and I had chatted about just a few days before. There it was, all 156 things I once dreamed of doing. And yet, I’ve only crossed off eight. Most of them are still untouched, just words on a page- reminders of plans I made but never got around to. Like,
- Dance in front of a crowd.
- Write a song.
- Go on a road trip with the girls. (We went on vacation, does that still count?)
- Go wine tasting.
- Try ice skating.
- Visit an actual art gallery
31st March 2025: For the past eight years, I’ve been walking a tightrope, balancing deadlines, chasing the next big win, and planning the next activity. Always moving, always striving. In the process, I forgot how to just be. I poured everything into my career and, somewhere along the way, lost touch with the rest of me. I used to love dancing, when did I stop? I have a whole library with more than 400 books, yet I can’t remember the last time I read a book from start to finish. How did that happen? I forgot how to enjoy the small, fleeting moments that make up a life. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to find my way back.
1 April 2025: I look around, and I realize just how blessed I am. Everything I once prayed for, I have. It’s easy to forget that sometimes, to get so caught up in chasing what’s next that we overlook what’s already here. Life has a way of making us focus on what’s missing, so we trudge on and forget how to be grateful.
So, I made new resolutions. I called up a friend who happens to be a dance instructor and booked a few lessons. Then, I took myself out on a date. Quiet time with a romance novel, a cocktail and my favourite meal. Next, I tackled my space. I decluttered, got rid of everything I hadn’t used in the past three years and donated them, and rearranged my bookshelf.
All is right in the world again. Now, I want to take my mornings slowly-savouring breakfast instead of rushing through it or eating it at my desk, watering my plants and actually watching them thrive. For the first time in forever, I feel comfortable moving through life without hurrying to the next thing. And I’m starting a new to-do list, one that actually gets checked off, starting with the things I had written down but never pursued.
Funny how losing something made me gain a new perspective. That life isn’t something you put on hold. It’s something you live-every single day.
