The most random of things happened today…I received a letter. It totally caught me off guard and tugged at my heartstrings. It made me smile too! Actually, the glow I have right now could rival the sun. If you are a geography geek, you know that my statement gears on the realm of impossibilities, but miracles do happen. Back to the letter, it was enclosed in an envelope, bearing my office address on top. The paper looked like those old parchment papers, but pristine white, with rough edges. The letter was written in cursive with a fountain pen. It came hand-delivered, and I thought it was one of those office memos, but by the time I opened it, the deliverer was long gone. Apart from just being plain emotional now, I’m filled with gratitude and awe for the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.
Can I be vulnerable with you for a moment? This is my first love-ish letter. The letters I have received in the past have been mostly official, like an offer letter for a job, or an admission letter to university, never a heart-felt missive. In high school, I had those cute papers and coloured envelopes, and I was always helping other girls write letters to their secret admirers. I had never thought of writing to someone myself. Well, apart from the sticky notes we used to write back and forth at the office with Monica (Perhaps this explains my fondness for sticky notes? Hmmh?), nothing has come this close. So this is clearly a big deal for me.
I had to read the letter twice, first because I was in awe, that someone took the time to write six pages on paper asking deep questions like how I was (really), curious questions about my passions, and even complimenting my personality (I am amazing, you see…😁). The second time was because I was unsure what I had read was real. They took their time, and I may have shed an emotional tear or two afterwards. The essence of the letter was one of profound gratitude, a tender acknowledgement of life’s precious moments, however few and far between. I have always held the belief that every moment of grace should be appreciated and celebrated. Clearly, this person did feel that way too.
I’ve heard that expressions of love and appreciation from friends can be just as meaningful as romantic gestures, although I haven’t experienced much of either lately. It seems I’ve grown distant and guarded, perhaps even cold. This realization struck me during a conversation with some colleagues over the weekend, who mentioned that they rarely see me around these days, that my smiles have become infrequent, and my presence is less noticeable- especially in social gatherings. Why? I’m not entirely sure. I suppose I thought this was the natural progression of life. There are times when the demands of daily existence pile up- work, studies, and books that you want to read but haven’t had the chance to yet- and you find yourself yo-yo-ing between seeking company and craving solitude. Lately, I’ve leaned more towards the latter, which evidently raised concerns from their end. They expressed a desire to see the old Avivar return, but what exactly that entails remains unclear to me. Perhaps it’s time for some introspection. It took a six-page letter to make me realize this, after all.
Being very caring and supportive of others is a wonderful quality to have. Sometimes, it just takes a little longer for those gestures to come back around to us. I have made my peace with that, but when they do come they are special. Very. You mentioned in your letter that you rarely receive letters yourself, despite the fact that you do write them a lot. Your kindness will surely be appreciated by whoever receives your love and affection, just as much as I appreciate it now. I hope you continue to bring joy to people just as you have brought to me.
Can we be penpals? Although, I gotta say, receiving a letter without a return address or even a name feels a bit like a mystery game. Drop a hint or two next time. Looking forward to the next missive.
