Sijui watu wengine hukua aje, honestly.
Our Women at Work group in Hagadera is organizing a Valentine’s pad drive for students, because what’s better than women uplifting other women? This cause is close to my heart, so I help where I can. Naturally, we made a poster, shared it on the WhatsApp groups, and put it on our statuses… because, well, I can’t only be out here posting memes. Once in a while, I post serious stuff.
Here I was, minding my business then someone texted me, “But what are you doing for the boys?” By the end of the day, I had received 6 messages, asking the same thing. It is a fair question if you assume that helping one group somehow denies the other. 🙄 I was this 🤏close to losing it, then I remembered I am choosing my peace this year. Some people need a date with reality, so let’s take a step back and I will explain.
Periods exist. Duuuh! 😕For women and girls, period time means menstrual cramps, breast tenderness, heavy menses for some, bloating, weird food cravings (juzi nmeendea nyanya kwa Hamdi), headaches, joint pain, muscle pain, acne, constipation or diarrhoea, weight gain, mood swings and irritability, anxiety, trouble sleeping, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, weakness, some even faint. Not to mention, the need to be constantly on high alert so you don’t stain your clothes, you can’t wear white (well, me because other brave individuals do, and they deserve a medal), period stigma etc. They are not a choice, and we have made our peace with that. Somehow. Trust me, it is not easy.
Pads, on the other hand, are a choice, but only for those privileged enough to afford them. For many students here, that’s not an option. So what happens? They stay home. They fall behind in school. Some even drop out altogether. Now, if a sanitary towel can be the difference between a girl getting an education or missing out, isn’t that worth looking into? That’s why pad drives exist. That 100 bob means a reprieve for a girl for a month, so she doesn’t have to choose between dignity and education.
Boys do have their own struggles, sijakataa. It is a concern and a valid one at that. But asking me what I am doing for them in the middle of a pad drive is like walking into a community clean-up exercise and asking “But what about global warming?” Again, both are important. Both deserve attention. But one doesn’t cancel out the other.
And here’s the best part: If you see a need, why don’t you do something about it? If boys are facing challenges that need addressing, let’s talk about solutions. Want to start an initiative? Well and good. Need support? Wonderful! Let’s work together. But expecting every effort for girls to automatically include boys is not activism. Also, people, it is not a competition. Somewhere along the way, we started treating advocacy like a limited resource, as if helping one group means neglecting another. But progress doesn’t work that way. We can solve one problem without dismissing another. There is enough activism to go around.
So, again what are we doing for the boys? Hopefully, the same thing we’re doing for the girls: paying attention, identifying challenges, and taking action (very important). And if you see a gap, don’t just point it out. Step up and fill it. Do what you can, in your capacity. Na juu ya hio story, mnitumie pesa ya pads.
Also, happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours. 💋
